hErBs aNd SpiCeS

Wishing and Hoping

2007-03-09T19:13:00.000+08:00

waiting for you is the worst thing i have ever done
but because you are dear to me,
i'd rather stay than run

when i think of holding you tight,
there are endless possibilities in sight
but when i open my eyes i will only realize,
that there is still darkness instead of light

wanting you is a totally different thing
loving you is definitely more than a fling
when will you see that i am here
and not just someone in between...

Capisce!

2006-12-10T21:14:00.000+08:00

shrimp amaretto

Last Friday, I was crazy enough to treat my college buddy Kae for dinner at Capisce, Metrowalk. It was actually a post bithday celebration that we never had eversince Maco, our other sister went to Dubai for work.

I just had to blog this since I had a very sumptous meal of prawn lying on top of mashed potato and creamy squash sauce with steamed brocolli, carrots and veggies on the side. I already had my few bites when I attempted to take a picture of what I am savoring!

who said this was light?
Kae opted to go for chicken parmigiana, a very staple and safe choice for dinner. After all, she needed only light food to keep her from vomiting. She unexpectedly performed for her band when their femme vocals failed to show up.

After dinner, I stayed until the band finished their repertoire and had to drive Kae home. I dunno if 3 bottles of vodka ice made me sleepy or tipsy or was I really tired because of the long day? While driving I can only hear myself laughing for no apparent reason. Viking, the road manager of the band was yelling at me to pull over and to stop the car so he can drive. Instead of obeying, I stepped on the gas and had my 100pkh run along EDSA. Whew! I managed to dropped Kae and Viking safely home.

Took a warm shower before hitting my bed and there was I staring at my teal colored ceiling when I found solace...

A Little Bit of Everything!

2006-12-08T15:42:00.000+08:00

Ok, don't curse me..I know I haven't been religious lately in updating my blog. I actually envy Mommy Shens who has managed to keep that same passion in writing inspite of a gazillion things to do. Not to mention those targets that seems impossible to attain.

Anyhow, I'll try to recap everything that had happened for the past 3 months. Pardon the details, I will somehow miss something...

"Do you remember the 21st night of September?
Love was changing the minds of pretenders
While chasing the clouds away

Our hearts were ringing
In the key that our souls were singing.
As we danced in the night,
Remember how the stars stole the night away

Ba de ya - say do you remember
Ba de ya - dancing in September
Ba de ya - never was a cloudy day

My thoughts are with you
Holding hands with your heart to see you
Only blue talk and love,
Remember how we knew love was here to stay"

Celebrated my birthday last September at Dampa Libis with my boss and officemates. I am actually sharing this night with my officemate who's also celebrating her birthday. See, call this weird but we do have the same birthday..same date, same month, same year. Yeah you read it right..same year! You think its crazy? No it's not, wait till I tell you that we even have the same birth time! So I consider her my twin sister..right Abi? haha!

After a night full of seafood, grilled meat, veggies and an over flowing liquor, I spent the night with my best buds. Girl Friends picked me up at the place around 10pm for an overnight booze of wine and puffs! Yeah, one of my colleagues was so damn crazy he gave me a few sticks to puff my head out! Talking about the herb dude! That stuff by the way was the best I had! haha!!

Cheers!

Wine and Puffs!

Weeks passed and on with the usual flow of toxicity in a corporate world. Proposals left and right, client meetings and dozen of phone calls and emails to answer. Never really stopped working even after achieving Year End Quota.

One hell week has passed and I decided to go up North to take a breather..Went to Baguio with my Boss and colleagues. There I just enjoyed the early Christmas breeze and drank the night away.

A week after I found myself way South the island of Cebu where I visited a good friend who was recently assigned in the area. Sadly, I forgot to bring my camera so I only have limited pics to share..

crazy riders

chillin at the loft bar cebu with hans

The week was a blast! Had a very relaxing massage before I head home to Manila. And as they say, back to reality, back to work!!!!

TOP 50 Things Not to Say During SEX

2006-11-30T13:57:00.000+08:00

1. You woke me up for that?
2. Did I mention the video camera?
3. But whipped cream makes me break out.
4. Person 1: This is your first time... right? Person 2: Yeah... today.
5. Hurry up! This room rents by the hour!
6. Can you please pass me the remote control?
7. Do you accept Visa?
8. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
9. On second thought, let's turn off the lights.
10. Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...
11. Do you get any premium movie channels?
12. Try not to smear my make-up, will ya!
13. But I just brushed my teeth...
14. Smile, you're on Candid Camera!
15. I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!
16. I want a baby!
17. (In a menage a trois) Why am I doing all the work?
18. I think you have it on backwards.
19. When is this supposed to feel good?
20. You're good enough to do this for a living!
21. Is that blood on the headboard?
22. Did I remember to take my pill?
23. That leak better be from the waterbed!
24. I told you it wouldn't work without batteries!
25. Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?
26. If you quit smoking you might have more endurance.
27. No, really.. I do this part better myself!
28. It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate!
29. This would be more fun with a few more people.
30. You're almost as good as my ex!
31. Do you know the definition of statutory rape?
32. You look younger than you feel.
33. Perhaps you're just out of practice.
34. Now I know why he/she dumped you..
35. You give me reason to conclude that foreplay is overrated. '
36. Have you ever considered liposuction?
37. And to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner!
38. I have a confession..
39. Are those real or am I just behind the times?
40. Did I mention my transsexual operation?
41. Did you come yet, dear?
42. Does this count as a date?
43. When would you like to meet my parents?
44. Sorry about the name tags, I'm not very good with names.
45. Don't mind me.. I always file my nails in bed.
46. You could at least ACT like you're enjoying it!
47. Petroleum jelly or no petroleum jelly, I said NO! 9
48. So that's why they call you Mr. Flash!
49. My old girlfriend used to do it a LOT longer!
50. How long do you plan to be "almost there"?

woohoo!!!

2006-09-05T17:43:00.000+08:00

Wow! I've missed doing this! I figured it took me a century to be able to write again. Well, nothing's new actually, we are still working on our targets. But as I was doing my reports, I was in awe to see that I am only 80k++ away from my year end target! Wohooo!!! It felt good knowing that I can achieve this in a months time. Now I can concentrate on my SG trip, hehe!! I'm super excited! This is another Voltes V's trip, this time out of the country! Awww...Kim E, hope you can come with us...We are leaving on the 27th..Tara, book ka na.. =)

Will write again after the trip, but for now, I have to work on my infamous Ayala Renewal. Ciao!

Let me know

2006-07-09T16:31:00.000+08:00

When was the last time you said goodbye?
Or the last time they called it quits?

When was the last time you were hurt?
Or the last time you hurt somebody?

When was the last time you said you’re sorry?
Or the last time they were sorry?

When was the last time you cried?
Or the last time you made someone cry?

When was the last time you said it was the first time?
Or the last time you said you this will never be the last?

When was the last time you were truly happy?
Or the last time you were really low?

Tell me. And I will gladly tell you more…

Sand and Sun at Bora 2006

2006-06-20T15:54:00.000+08:00

X-Men & Our New Baby

2006-06-01T17:29:00.000+08:00

Tonight we are scheduled to watch the third and final episode of X-Men at Globe platinum Cinema in Gateway. I've been wanting to watch it since the day it first opened but i had to wait until it is shown in Lazy Boy. I guess spending P350 for this movie is but worth it since this is a family bonding. It has been quite a while since we all got the chance to have a movie and dinner together. I'm sure this will be a long and fulfilling night for everyone.

Oh, i want you to meet the newest edition in our family...our baby Fritz. He's only 8 weeks old and quite shy and timid for a German Sheperd breed. I can't wait to play with him and walk him every Sunday. (as if!, haha!) I've been reading this book also on how to properly take care of his breed. And surprisingly, it's not as easy as i thought it is. It's like taking care of a real baby. I need to feed him on time, make sure that he gets his monthly vacines and visits to his vet. Not to mention his vitamins and regular exercise. Whew! This could get really challenging and exciting!

Right now he's at home and taking a nap..Isn't he a cutie? Too bad we can't bring him tonight. I'd have to wait until late night to hug him and kiss him goodnight.

It's FINAL for SURE!

2006-05-30T23:55:00.000+08:00

this week is another crazy week for me. i need to renew one of my biggest accounts and it will happen tomorrow, i mean later (its tuesday already here 12mn) so i have to really look good coz we will be having the photo opt while their signing their half a million plus renewal =) sweet thought right? =P

i guess i deserve it. the whole team deserves it. we've worked as hard as we could just to get them renew their contract. we cant afford to lose this account. afterall, even if they are such a pain in the ass, they are really worth more than anything else. they are the biggest and strongest conglomerate here in the Philippines. and having them tagged as our "partner" means so much for both jobseekers and the whole company.

so im taking my beauty rest now coz i have to look good in the pictorial =)

Beijos

2006-05-26T01:05:00.000+08:00

As painful as the memories consume me...
As solid as my sorrows can be...
I'm sorry my baby, but i need to let go...

For my dear Daniel..
Voce Sempre Sera Para Mim..

Love & Hate

2006-05-25T23:03:00.000+08:00

I hate the way you look at me coz it seems that your eyes are empty

I hate the way i would stare at you coz i know you dont look at me the same way i do

I hate the way you ignore me and i hate the way you pretend that you don't care

I hate it when something reminds me of you coz that makes me think about you more often

I hate it when you occupy my mind coz i don't have a space in yours

I hate it when i have to lie and deny mostly what i feel coz in reality i just might be..

...f..a..l..l..i..n..g... : (

Bagay ba sa'kin ang kulot?

2006-05-22T17:45:00.000+08:00

Liz, my super kulet colleague did this to me last friday when we went out to have JFK's (Joel F. Kalaw) despedida party held at our fave party place, B'G's Makati.

And this one, another super kulet homie, Choc..mukhang kawawa..

The typical kontrabida in telenovelas..

The ladies with JFK...

Highlights of the night..

Bangag si Louie, hehe!
Kumanta si Liz, feel na feel nya!
Si Goey, may hidden talent! Puwedeng pang Mr. Pogi. Best in Talent!
Si Bongkers dumating with Raoul (Church!)

Soft Kisser

2006-03-26T09:00:00.000+08:00

You Are a Soft Kisser

Your kissing style is understated, but effective
You give soft, sweet, and soulful kisses to your special guy
And that's the key: he's got to be special to get your kiss
Because you don't just go around kissing anyone

What's" Your Kissing Style?

Memoirs

2006-03-26T08:34:00.000+08:00

"To whom shall i ask, When you have loved me then and you dont love me now?
Perhaps, i should pray that i too shall remember our love so little,
until you remember..."
Brunhild, Queen of Iceland
Ring of the Nibelungs

My Love Element

2006-03-13T19:45:00.000+08:00

Your Love Element Is Metal

In love, you inspire and respect your partner.For you, love is all about fusing together for one incredible life experience.
You attract others with wit and a bit of flash.Your flirting style is defined by making others want and value you.
Greatness and optimism are the cornerstones of your love life.You may let go too easily, but you never get weighed down by your past.
You connect best with: Earth
Avoid: Fire
You and another Metal element: will control and smother each other

What Element Is Your Love?

2006 Revised Targets

2006-03-11T00:27:00.000+08:00

For the nth time, we have our revised targets based on Essential revenue last 2005...
And guess what? With only 50+ accounts left in my base (i needed to transfer some, actually most of my accounts to other team members) i have a whoping 9.8M target for 2006..

Isn't that lovely? Just as i thought that i have a life..it came crashing to me faster than i thought..sweet...

Wish me all the luck..i guess i badly need it...sigh...

Wedding Invites

2006-03-09T13:27:00.000+08:00

You are cordially invited to the Wedding of the Year...

Photoshop courtesy of Lizette Kulet Barrientos

HAHAHA!!! Tamang kulet ba? =)
Wishful thinking....

when it comes to love

2006-03-08T19:41:00.000+08:00

Which would you chose, the one you love most or the person who loves you more?

when insomnia attacks

2006-03-06T02:17:00.000+08:00

I don't know when it all started..I knew i had insomnia way back in highschool. No matter how hard i to try to sleep i just cant. Ive tried a lot of things already, including counting sheeps and blessings but to no avail. I still find myself staring at my olive painted wall and ceiling.

Out of desperation, i have finished my Ayala Proposal. hehe! Come to think of it, it actually did me good! hehe! Oh well, im sure GC will make a total overhaul tomorrow (i mean later) when i present it to her... hehe!

Now im just waiting for a file transfer being sent by my Indian friend. We've been friends for more than a year now and its just amazing how we have managed to keep our communication open. He often calls me during his free time and we would exchange emails almost everday. I learn a lot from him. Not to mention he is really good in the stock market. He has some few shares which i think more than a few but you know out of modesty, he prefers to keep it low.

Anyway, now i really dont know what to do. Oh, its Daniel's birthday today! Actually yesterday. March 5. I've sent him an e-card and a separate email. Well im not expecting that he'll reply soon coz i know he's probably in a drinking session right now with his friends and family..Well, i just hope he'll have a very good and special day!

This morning i went to the christening of my college friend's son. I would'nt want to coz im so lazy this morning i would not want to wake up that early but i had no choice being one of the godmothers. It was nice seeing old familiar faces..college faces to be exact. But after sometime i found myself questioning...my friends have either settled down with kids or are into a long term relationships. My category is not in the picture. So for a time i was asking myself...am i suposed to get married also and have kids or should i just continue with my care free life? When i look at them, i know behind those smiles there are unspoken pain. I know relationships are never perfect..there are ups and down..but the real question is..how will i know if its time for me? Maybe is should find a partner first..hehe!!

See my nonsenseless when i have insomnia? I honestly cant think straight..its like a free verse..free flowing of thoughts and ideas..correlated or not..i dont know. It doesnt seem to matter to me. hehe!

Now im really tired and sleepy..will try to catch some zzzzzzzssss.....till then..

No Goodbyes..Only Hello

2006-02-25T12:13:00.000+08:00

You came into my life unexpectedly,
You left just exactly how you came..
We shared some time together,
Laugh around, crazy like fools..
I still remember how you stared at me,
Across the room you're chasing me..
With your eyes that are searching,
Your face that glows beautifully in a yellow lit room...
Your smile that reaches a stretch of mile,
How i can resist?
Endless stories one after the other,
Alternating sighs of life..
Kisses in between.
Each time you hold me,
Sercurity is never a matter..
You alone is enough.
But then, after some time..
You must go.
So i gathered my strength,
And without fear i looked at you.
I dont want to say goodbye
as i dont belive in that.
So no goodbyes..
Only Hello..
After all, we started with one Hello..

"Voce Sempre Sera Especial Para Mim"

The Usual Friday

2006-01-27T10:11:00.000+08:00

Here we go again...my usual friday..its beginning to be an exact replica of what i had last year...
Start of the year and im already toxic. Felt overworked..overboard..

I was sick the whole week. Just starting to recuperate from the hell ive been to. My voice is awful. Sounds like a man trying hard to sound like a girl. Ergo, sounds like a gay talking in a slow pace low tone monotonous voice. Which is not so me. Eiiw,,,,,if you only know how i really sound like over the phone. Always excited, fast talker biatch..haha!

Anyway, im not in the mood today for any at all..Just wanna sit around and rest. Actually i have tons of workload to finish..Im just trying to get my rhythm.

Will right back soon...taloi!

I have never been this TOXIC!!!

2006-01-20T19:16:00.000+08:00

OMG! I couldn't possibly imagine how harassed i am this past few days! This week and the previous week was like hell for me. I was mostly out of the office attending to client calls. I know sooner or later stress will take its toll on me..Im actually not feeling well today.

I have to go home now..hopefully to rest well tonight..

What a way to start 2006!!!

2006-01-10T19:06:00.000+08:00

Its only the second week of the month and exactly 7 working days, i have reached already my monthly target! WOW!!! That's really a good way to start the year! Im so so happy!!!! =)

Now, time to work on for next month's even higher target! Goodluck Iceysmiley!!! =)

Goodbye 2005, Hello 2006

2005-12-31T17:40:00.000+08:00

Its exactly 6 hours before i say goodbye to a wondrous 2005 and welcome with much excitement and anticipation the year 2006.

Looking back, there have been a lot to reminisce. Good and bad, it had defined my being.

Bad: To start off, i was again single. Yeah, first month of the year 2005, im a certified single, in her mid 20's, spontaneous and sassy woman. Breaking up is really a hard thing to deal with.

Good: I buried myself to work trying not to think about my current sitaution. Heartache is just a state of mind. Oh so do i believed so. I thought, if i could just work hard and forget about thinking what had happened, i could move on and start a new. Yes, good enough for me. Few months after the terrible break up, i was back on track. Good as new.

Bad: My mentor and considered as my confidante at work decided to quit. It was a terrifying experience for me knowing she will not be there anymore to guide me and supoort me. I was a bit anxious on how things would be like after she is gone. I was devasted by the mere thought that i will no longer see her everday and no one will be there by my side to listen to me everytime i feel the urge to unload some burdens. I felt like i can't make it without her...

Good: I figured, even if she's gone and will not be physically there..all the things that she has taught me will forever be with me. And that thought made me smile..I realized that every little things that we have shared are kept as a memory to cherish forever. Its enough for me to know that she's with me wherever i go.

Bad: My happy family is not as happy anymore. Things from the past has started to unveil. Terrible things..things that i never imagined existed in our family. Slowly, we grow farther from each other...Little by little..i was drowning..My idea of a once happy family is fading.

Good: I learned to let go of things that i can't control. Things that are not in my hold. I know that things happen for a reason. And although i may not know clearly the reason, i was happy to accept that soon all would fall into its places.

Bad: It was a gruesome year. Every day counts as if it is your last. It is crucial to hit every targets. It was a tough year considering i almost went crazy handling the Ayala project. And there were several nerve wracking special projects as well.

Good: I pulled it through after months of pounding headache. Good thing, i manage to keep my sanity through occasional night outs with friends and officemates.

Now, as the year is nearing its end, i would just like to thank everyone who has always been there with me. This year is no doubt exceptionally different among the past years. Its a year full of pain, full of hope and full of dreams. As i farewell the year, i warmly embrace the next and awaits the future.

Happy Holidays!!!!

2005-12-29T13:56:00.000+08:00

Happy holidays everyone! wishing you all a joyous holidays with your loved ones!!

with much love,
claude

Here it is!

2005-12-12T14:46:00.000+08:00

Christmas is here and its inevitable..Christmas Sale is almost everywhere. Yet, i havent bought gifts for my inaanak and family...Still thinking of what to give them. Its such a headache just thinking of the perfect gift to suit each one. Ive been wanting to go to DV at 168 mall to shop. But the thought of that crowded place makes me sick already.

Now ive been having a hard time scheduling courtesy visits to my top clients to give them xmas gifts. Im so pressed for time as i only have this week and the next 5 days to personally deliver those Cinabon boxes and red wines. Imagine this, i have to visit at least 4 clients a day to cover them all by the end of next week. Carrying all those boxes while i jump from one building to another. Hindi kaya magmukha akong messenger?

Goodluck Ice! I just wish i have a car so it will be easier for me to go around..

Advance Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all my blogger friends!!!

gRRRRR!!!!

2005-11-30T14:14:00.000+08:00

Im freaking bored here!!!!

Its raining outside and i would love to go to bed and sleep!!!

Uwi na kaya ako? =P

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

2005-11-16T16:00:00.000+08:00

Tonight, i will be watching the premiere showing of the much awaited book 4 of Harry Potter written by JK Rowling. Most of my officemates have read the book. But for me, i'd rather watch it than read it. Knowing me, i have less patience in reading any kind of books excpet of course those that really interests me. Since this is an adventure story, i know that it would be best seen and heard over THX. hehe!!

Can't wait to be watching Harry, Hermione, Ron again with all their witty adventures. I'll try to write again after ive seen the movie. =)

Im back!

2005-11-11T18:34:00.000+08:00

Hey, im back! After two weeks of hibernation, im alive! Hehe! My PC was busted for two weeks. (tell me something new,huh? hehe!) And for two weeks, ive been hopping from one PC to another. Sobrang tamad magwork coz i dont have my files. Its difficult for me to do reports and read my mails. So ive missed a lot of email exchanges and some important things to do. But anyway, its good that my PC is now ok.

Its friday today, any plans for tonight anyone? =)

Happy Anniversary!

2005-11-02T18:22:00.000+08:00

It’s my first year anniversary here at JS. Yipeey!! Who would have thought that I have endured a year of toxic days and occasional sleepless nights? I myself never thought of it. A year ago, when I first walked in at the old office upstairs, I wasn’t exactly feeling nervous, but there is this feeling of uneasiness. Of course, I’m new, relatively young, and I don’t know anyone. I have no expectations actually. I just want to have friends, handle my work well and meet my quota. After a year, I realized, not only did I gain friends, and hit my monthly quota, but HE also gave me a family. A second home. HE made my year stay at JS undeniably happy, fun and exciting.

“LORD, I thank you for all the blessings you have given me. I thank you for all my friends here at JS, I thank you for all the happy thoughts, all the hardships and trials that I believe helped me to be strong and better person. Thank you for guiding me always. I ask you to continue to shower me and my friends your blessings so we may continue to help oher people as well. “

So what are we waiting for dude? This cause for a celebration! Yahoo!! Allan is calling us! Hehe!! Ciao! See yah!

Slow Dance

2005-10-27T17:15:00.000+08:00

This was written by a girl who was diagnosed with cancer. Just want to share it with you

Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask How are you?
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say,"Hi"
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away.
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.

Audacity

2005-10-24T19:16:00.000+08:00

i wanna go home
down to the road i belong
i wanna sing a song
where i could be no wrong

there is a place where i can stay
and leave without a trace
but i cannot remember the way
lead me back to thy phase

i weep, i shed, i fell for the tear
my heart holds every fear
each night of pain hurts likes a sphere
hold me, kiss me, embrace as you hear

the night is young, darkness in sight
can we stop for a while and break in the light?

Just How Important Friendship is in Every Relationship

2005-10-10T13:35:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, i was shocked to see the name of my ex boyfriend on my inbox. With a pale face (i thought, though i havent seen myself in the mirror) and a trembling hands, i opened up his message. He is casually inviting me for coffee that lazy Sunday afternoon. Without anything to do, i agreed to come but still with a little bit of hesitation. After about 9 months of no communication at all, here he is waiting outside my doorstep. Am i ready for this? Eventhough i have so many thoughts running through my seemlessly toxic mind, i soon found myself inside his car. Oh that damn smell that i missed so much...sigh...argghhh!!! Slowly memories of the past cloud my mind. How difficult could this be..oh hell...what the heck..i thought ill just go with the flow..

We headed for Starbucks coffee at West Avenue, our fave coffee place. With this place alone, there had been so much to reminisce. Even the security guard was astonished to see both of us walking towards the door. You see, they havent seen us together for quite sometime now. And i couldn't deny either that he has seen me with other "men" aside from my ex. A cute but timid smile was seen on the guard's lips as we entered the door smiling back at him.

After we settled at our fave place, at our fave seats, with our fave coffee and pastry, he started to talk. "Oh No...this is it.." I said to myself as i try to sip my coffee that hopefully will bring me back to reality. But this is reality..this is him and me..together..

We talked for hours. The whole conversation is undeniably smooth and calm. No one raised a voice, no one curse. Both of us had a open mind. I figured, if we havent been friends before the relationship, and continued to be friends, can we possibly achieved this? This now brings me to the realization, that friendship is indeed important in every relationship.

No matter how bad the two of you ended, there will still be a part of you that wishes the other half well. Geniunely wishing him well. No pretentions..No more heartaches.

As i bid him goodbye, i said to myself..this is the happiest day of my life. Finally, im free of worries. And once again, ive found my friend.

A Little Bit of Everything

2005-10-07T19:12:00.000+08:00

For the last couple of weeks, ive been feeling mixed emotions of boredom, filled with not so happy thoughts, aspirations brought about disillusionment and a blurd contentment of my so called life. Reasons? I can't seemed to find a valid one.

How long have i been like this? I have perfectly no idea. I bet the four corners of these walls won't even comprehend how deep my thoughts are at this very moment. Who else would i turn to? Give me the slightest clue and i'd willingly jump for it.

They say life gets complicated as you grow, as you move and you explore. True. But what if you chose to be still? Would it still be as complicated as it is now? Where would you rather be? Would you take one side or be in between. Now, where's the maturity in that..

Drowning in my own hallucinations, i weep, i shed, i broke. Reality still sinks in..it bites and i know the pain. That oh so familiar pain..is my constant feeling..

25th year at B.G's

2005-10-01T17:19:00.000+08:00

Here are some of the pics during our post birthday celebration. Happy birthday sis Abi! For those who have attended the party, thanks so much, hope you enjoyed the night!

And my special guest for that night =)

My First Ever IMPACT Contract

2005-08-27T16:09:00.000+08:00

Last Friday, i got my very first IMPACT contract! =) I am so happy that i wanted to dance in joy and sing on top of my voice. But of course, i cant do that being that im in the office. It took a while before i finally get hold of this signed contract. It was supposed to be actually due last month but things got tied up with my contact person so she had to put it aside first. Well, but now, the wait is over! (Sorry guys but i cant write the company name, sort of a legal thingy)

The next couple of weeks will be the most busy days of my life. For one, Ayala Group of Comapanies, is also due to launch their much awaited Impact career site. They opted to let go of the job fair they initailly wanted to grace the event. But will still push through at a later date, sometime in October.

Following the standard timetable in setting up Impact, it will only take us a month to finish their site. Well, im foreseeing that this wont be as tedious and as much headache as what Ayala is, but still a lot of things to do on top of unimanageable targets!

Anyway im writing this now so you'll know that i have a good excuse as to why i wont be able to update my blog often. Ayt? =)

BTW, its the perfect advance birthday gift for me. Thanks po Papa Jesus! =)

samu't sari

2005-08-10T19:37:00.000+08:00

...hindi ko mabilang kung nakailang stick ako ng yosi ngayong araw na ito...

...bakit parang hindi ako nauubusan ng ginagawa? ...

...sakit sa ulo talaga ang pagbebenta ng dyaryo...

...sampung libo palang ang benta ko ngayong linggong ito...

...dami ko namimiss na tao..ang tanong..namimiss din kaya nila ako? ...

...excited na ako sa launching ng Ayala Impact site..sa wakas..pagkatapos ng halos isang taon..

...bad trip...wala ng australia trip..hello to singapore na lang sa oktubre...

...meron pa ba akong inaasahan sa trabahong ito? kayo meron ba?...

...in fariness, medyo malamig dito sa opis ngayon, kung kelan pa namang wala akong dalang jakey..

...gusto ko ng chicharong bulaklak na may serbesa..masarap kapag ganitong umuulan at malamig ang panahon...

...gusto ko na ulit mag party ng hanggang alas-4 ng umaga at umuwi ng bangag...

...tahimik ata ngayon...

...sa sabado isang malaking kasiyahan ang mangyayari...

...nakikita ako ng thongs sa topshop..gusto kong bilhin..kulay fuschia...

...meron akong bagong suit galing black shop...wag nyp nang itanong kung magkano...

...hindi ako excited sa suweldo, magbabayad lang kasi ako ng bills...

...dami kong dapat gawin, pero wala ako sa mood...

...hayyyyy....

...ohhhhhh.....

...ahhhh....

...wag mag isip ng masama.., wala lang akong maisulat pa...

...paalam...

Weekends never been better!

2005-08-07T13:45:00.000+08:00

After how many hell weeks, here i am finally getting my much deserve lazy weekend! I did not even bother to go out although i cant even count how many invitations i got since friday night. I felt like i deserve to stay at home, cuddle my pillows and just sleep!!!! That's one thing. Ever since i got the Ayala project, Campus relauch, Taining modules etc etc etc..i havent had a decent sleep. Have you also noticed that its been quite a while since my last post? See? i dont have the time now..well im hoping things will get better soon.

Well i know i am busy at work but still i am so excited for ate shenski's shower party. I just happen to be the coordinator so medyo madugo din. But im happy that im doing this for her. O ayan ha ate shens!! =) im hoping that everything will turn out well on saturday. sobrang exciting ito! watch out for it. i will post some pics next week! Gurls, lets party hard and enjoy the night ayt? see you all then!

Motherless

2005-07-10T19:14:00.000+08:00

i miss mama rosa..
everytime i look beside me, i cant help but feel sad..
it was only like weeks ago when i use to see her beside me..
working closely on our targets, monitoring each of us..
calculating each deficits and making recommendations on how to achieve targets..
so sad that she has to leave...
but im happy for her..
she's in a better place..
i just hope she'll be happy too..
will definitely see her again..
and im loking forward to that...soon..
very soon..
mama rosa...thanks for all...
you'll be missed every JS days of mine..
-------------------
mama rosa is my team leader.
left the company for reasons that i know matters most.
for seven months, she's literally my mother.
my mentor, good friend, wonderful person.
love you mama rosa..

Targets

2005-07-10T19:11:00.000+08:00

Goodluck sa targets ko!!! yun lang!

Angel

2005-06-26T10:10:00.000+08:00

"Gurl you're my angel
you're my darling angel
closer than my peepz you are too me
shorty you're my angel
you're my darling angel
gurl you're my friend when im in need.."

--------------------------

This song keeps on playing in my mind..
Brings back old memories..
Which oftentimes make me think..
Where could he be now..

Peter Piper

2005-06-21T17:05:00.000+08:00

Lets do some tongue exercise...as i badly need this nowadays..
I bet you guys know what i mean =)

peter piper picked a peck of pickled pepper.
a peck of pickled pepper peter piper picked.
if peter piper picked a peck of pickled pepper,
where's the peck of pickled pepper peter piper picked?

Did you do well?
Try to say this 10 times and lets see if you have mastered the tongue twister.
Viola!

Who wants money?

2005-06-17T16:12:00.000+08:00

Talking about splurging money...yesterday i bought quite a number of new clothes. 3 pairs of pants, 5 pieces of tops. Today, i bought Adidas items. A new pair of rubber shoes, a knapsack, 2 pairs of ankle socks and a cute green shirt.

Who wants money then? Oh well, feels like im filthy rich to cash out much on these items. Nah! Its been a long time since i treated myself.

Catch me later,im late for my appointment. I'll be at David's salon. Its time to get a haircut!

Kikay at 26

2005-06-16T14:22:00.000+08:00

Just want to share some of our pics during Kik's bday. Enjoy!

Wala lang share lang...wish ko lang yung mga wala dito sa pictures eh next year nandito na!
ciao! Cool_as_Ice!

The bonding of the Trio plus One

2005-06-13T19:36:00.000+08:00

Saturday night..not the typical one. For most, they would be out with friends partying and drinking. With this long weekend, Im sure most of you are out of town. I had mine diffrently. With my mom away for the entire weekend (she's in Vigan) I spent my whole weekend with my siblings and my sister-in-law.

Went out to watch Mr. & Mrs. Smith on a Sunday then had dinner at Hap Chang. Followed by coffee at Starbucks. How could you miss the free coffee? Thanks to the July 12 coupon. =)
After all the chitchats, we all went home feeling tired. But then, nothing can stop us from all the days we have missed. You see, with my eldest brother having a wife now and technically, well he doesnt live with us anymore, we kinda miss the occasional kulitan at night. Bugging each other's private and personal life. Which of course, we lovingly share and divulge. =) We bought champagne and red wine before heading home. Then continued the endless tsismisan over The Sex and City season 5 VCDs. Lovely! Just the perfect night for me...

One thing's for sure..i can always give up my night life with friends..Just to have another great weekend with my bro's and sis..Love you all dearies...

Virus

2005-06-09T13:36:00.000+08:00

im sick again...
it must be the virus here in the office..
people have been getting sick almost one after the other..
colds, cough, flu, headache, sorethroat etc..
wish i could go back to my old me..
this is not so me..
im going home..
peace out..

--im cOoL!!--

2005-06-08T23:02:00.000+08:00

dunno if i did the right thing..
dont wanna think either..
just wanna feel..
dunno if it matters..
or if anybody cares..
what the heck...
im cool...
cool_as_ice..
get it on gurl...
keep rolling..

Must have been...

2005-06-06T18:24:00.000+08:00

i think..
i just think..
that it would be nice to spend another night with you..
though i know its too early to tell..
but that one night we spent together...
was enough for me to tell..
that..
you just might be..
the one..
ive been wanting to meet..
and share my views..
my thouhts..
my feelings..
everything..
that same night was god enough for me..
to think..
that you just might be..
the one im looking for..
im keeping my fingers crossed..
to meet you again..
to spend some time with you again..
to be with you again..
one more night..
then ill know..
if it must have been...

Was it somthing else or just me?

2005-05-27T05:07:00.000+08:00

Lately i have been ignoring people in my life. Specifically men. Those constant dates are now becoming less as the days passed by. For this week, i have only gone out once. And the rest of the week, i cordially turn down any invitations. Was it because i am feeling tired of dating? Or was it just because of me?

Am i ready for any commitment? I know i am not yet capable of handling another serious relationship. That's probably the reason why i dont want to go out on dates. I feel like its useless.
I just want to enjoy life as is and move one. What the heck..I am so tired..

Anyhow, im still thankful that there are still people who appreciates me. When the time comes that their no longer there, its ok. I think its not yet time.

Whatever it is that God has planned for me, be it. Thy will be done.

life is good no matter what

2005-05-25T00:54:00.000+08:00

im so tired and sleepy..i cant even concentrate on what i am doing...
i just wanna go back to bed and sleep...
i wanna hug my pillow and cuddle Powder..
i want a bubble bath..
i want a full body massage..
i want a hair spa and facial scrub..
dang! this life is just.....
well...still good inspite of shits..

i have my family...
i have great friends..
i have a job..
i have no special someone but who cares?
i am still happy...

life is good..
so be it..
kampay!!!! =)

Magandang Umaga!

2005-05-24T12:30:00.000+08:00

Its the start of another week and id like to start a positive outlook!
Goodmorning everyone! Mwah! i love you all my friends! Mwah!

Never on a Sunday

2005-05-23T11:21:00.000+08:00

I hate it when i am done with my post and suddenly you just cant find it! Then its gone!!!! GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!

observations

2005-05-18T07:58:00.000+08:00

tinatamad lang naman akong mag work today...
nakaka bagot dito sa office..
ang init sa labas..
masarap kumain ng pistachio ice cream..
nakaka asar yung kumakanata sa videoke sa tapat..
wala akong kasama dito...
ako lang sa team namen...
si shenski, si carol lang kasama..
lahat nag client call..
or naka leave..or wala lang..just nowhere to be found..
si rances tahimik...
wala si choc kaya walang maingay...
si tina kadadaan lang..
walang pinagbago nakasimangot pa din cya...
si raffy m, the sales manager is just around the corner..patingin tingin...
si grace...ewan...
ang buong select as usual busy sa pag iinterview...
si gel labas pa din ang panty..guess the color..skintone naman..
pero lola panty pa din...
mainit, walang aircon...
masarap magkape at magyosi...
masarap tumambay at maghanap ng cutie pie..
higit sa lahat masarap makipag - - -
kuwentuhan!!!!!

Something to Think About

2005-04-16T06:37:00.000+08:00

Sabi nila kapag mahal mo ang isang tao, palalayain mo sya. Kung bumalik sya, iyo sya. Kung hindi, hindi. Pero paano mo magagawang palayain sya kung sya ang dahilan kung bakit nagmamahal ka?

Bar, Band and Billiards

2005-04-05T18:55:00.000+08:00

Last Friday night, my friends (Louie, Abby, Kikay, Arthur, Ford) and i went to Streakers Bar in Las Piñas to watch Tiara in her latest gig. Tiara, our used to be corp care officer is now a part time drummer for a band called KKMK (Kapwa Ko Mahal Ko - weird name for a band). My so called "friend" Ford picked us up here in Galleria around 7pm then went straight to Las Piñas. It took us more than an hour to get there considering the heavy traffic during friday nights.

Finally, we arrived past 8pm at the bar then hurriedly went down to see Tiara. And there she was waiting for us. Immediately, we hugged and kissed each other. It has been months seen we last saw her. I myself missed her so much considering i always spend the yosi afternoon break with her with the famous vendo coffee. Blah, Blah, Blah, and there were the endless stories and updates.

Its already past 10:30pm and they havent even played yet. It was because of this stupid pa-cool guy who hosted the beer bum challenge. Anyway, after several minutes more, it was their time to play. We shouted and cheered for our dear beloved Tiara as she played the drums. Cool! This girl really rocks!

After the gig, we decided to play billiards. We dropped Kikay first at Shell Ayala to meet her new boylet. (that's another story). Then it was only I, Abby, Arthur, Ford and his friend Oliver went to Gutson's Timog to play 9 balls. Time check, its 3am already.

Our game was so so..but fun. I or should i say we (abby and arthur) did not expect that these guys (Ford and Oliver) are champs. With matching cue sticks ready at the trunk of their cars. We played for an hour or more, cant remember since we are all sleepy. Then after a while we decided to call it a day. We were done at around past 4am.

We dropped off Abby to her place then at last its time for me to go home. After Abby went down the car, i cant help myself but to thank Ford repeatedly. Well, its not a joke to drive from Ortigas to Las Piñas, to Makati then Timog, to Marikina then to where i live in Kalookan. Whew! Before i went down the car, i gave him a peck on the cheeks. Just to thank him for a wonderful night.

Then its sleeping time finally! After taking a brief shower im off to bed. Time check, 6am! Now who can beat that! =)

Bar, Band and Billiards..a pretty good combination. Till next Friday night gimick!

Voltes V's Galera Trip

2005-03-31T02:57:00.000+08:00

Before Holy week, Abi, Kim, Raffy, Kimchi and I decided to hit the beach! We all decided to go to Galera. Considering we only have one week to plan, our beach getaway was a blast.

The night before our trip, we ate dinner at Bonfire Grill near Abi's place at Riverbanks Marikina.

2:45am Kimchi finally arrived. As usual he is late. But nevertheless, the spirit and the excitement is still eminent in our faces. We are on our way to Batangas pier.

At the prier around 6am Wednesday.

Our boatride to Galera. Yipeey!!! Galera here we come! =)

Finally we are at the beach! Here we are while waiting for our breakfast at Cocoaroma.

Our tatoo session with Kimchi and the finish products. Haha ive got to admit my pic was pretty much sexy. hehe!

After our tiring banana boat ride and a relaxing massage. Do i look tan? hehe! =)

Our last glimpse of the beach before going back to Manila.

Till our next trip together. Go Voltes Team! All for one, One for all!! =)

Nokia 6600

2005-03-23T02:33:00.000+08:00

I lost my fone today. It was snatched. Today is HOLY TUESDAY!

I was walking from Ortigas MRT going to Galleria. You all know the long walk from there. I was nearing Galleria already when this big guy bumped me. He even said sorry and walked again like nothing happened. After a few steps, i felt that there is something wrong. I immediately checked by bag and there it is. My phone is gone. Imagine this, it was inside my body bag. How could he possibly get that?

I am just thankful that nothing bad happened to me. Well, except that it really hurts when he bumped me. It was such an impact. But then i guess, i could have been dead. He could be dangerous and could kill me. Thank GOD.

Lets look at the bright side, i'll have my brand new fone anytime soon! hehe! Wouldn't it be nice? :)

Oh my God, i have lots pictures there! What if this guy is a psycho and post my pics in different porn sites? Grrrrr!!!! I couldnt imagine seeing my face with someone else's body in nude! Argghhhh,,,i wish not...I hope not!!!

Oh well, he could just enjoy the porn videos there. But please not my pics!!!!

Hey guys if you happen to see my face anywhere please let me know. You know naman how the technology works nowadays. thanks in advance.

Please pray also that it wont happen..What will my mom say? Oh no..please!!!!

Morning Struggle

2005-03-22T02:38:00.000+08:00

For the past one week, ive been riding the MRT going to the office. Nothing's new. It's still jampacked, people with smelly bodies, people who looks who just got up form the bed, people who looks clean and fresh but will still look hagard afterwards, people who keeps on pushing and people who get pushed. I am always one of the latter.

It has always been a mystery to me on why eventhough you dont try to get inside the train you will still somehow get in without even moving! Haha! Im sure most of you have experienced this already. Those people who keeps on pushing is to blame. I just hate when people keeps on pushing and pushing even if they know that they wont fit anymore. And of course not to mention those people who takes the opportunity to take advantage of the situation.

Sadly, i have to keep up with this for months. Or even years! Argghhhh!!!! I wish not...

"FORD"

2005-03-20T06:10:00.000+08:00

Last Thursday, i went out with a friend. Considering it has been nearly two months since i lost someone, now i am with "other" someone. Was that fast? Nope i dont think so. There was nothing romantic about us anyway. We had dinner, listened to Marielle as she sings and we enjoyed the night.

It felt good when he hug me. Yes he hug me but just to comfort me because i was beginning to feel the emptiness again. Argghhh....i wish i could really move on. Im glad he understands me. After that night, i really thought that maybe, just maybe he can be there for me. Nothing serious, no strings attached. But by just being there. As a good friend.

If you happen to read this, you know who you are. Thank you for keeping up with me. You know that I do appreciate you. Everything that you do for me. Thanks so much.

Till next dinner together...

Shopping Day!

2005-03-16T18:39:00.000+08:00

I bought a new pair of semi-jeans today. Actually gaya-gaya lang ako. Abby bought it first, then when i saw it, i cant help myself but to get one also. It doesnt look like maong jeans but its good enough to look like a slacks. I can pair with almost anything. Tube tops, halters, even polo. Im going to use it tomorrow. I have a client call kasi. Thats also one thing i like about it. Puwedeng pang client call =)

On friday, there will be a mall sale here at galleria. Needless to say, i am going to splurge! Cant wait to buy new clothes! yipeey~

Till then!

"You became what?"

2005-03-16T06:10:00.000+08:00

The daughter had not been to the house for over 5 years. Upon her return, her father cussed her out:"Where have you been all this time, you ingrate! Why didn't you writeus? Not even a line to let us know how you were doing? Why didn't you call? You little tramp! Don't you know what you put your Momthrough??!!

"The girl, crying: "Sniff, sniff.. dad.. I became a prostitute..."

"WHAT? Out of here, you shameless harlot, sinner! You're a disgrace tothis family! I don't ever want to see you again!"

"OK, Dad. As you wish. I just came back to give Mom this fur coat andtitle to a mansion, a savings account certificate of $5 million for mylittle brother, and for you, Daddy, this gold Rolex, the spanking new BMW that's parked outside and a lifetime membership to the Country Club.. and an invitation for you all to spend New Years' Eve, on boardmy new yacht in the Riviera, and ..

"Now what was it you said you had become?

"Girl, crying again: Sniff, sniff "A prostitute Dad!""Oh, Gee! you scared me half to death, girl! I thought you said "A Protestant! Come here and give your old man a hug!"

"Are You One of Us?"

2005-03-16T01:09:00.000+08:00

Yes!!!! I am definitely one of them...I've got my tagboard already!!! Yipeey!!! Thanks to Winnie for doing it for me. Thanks also ate shienski for having the first "puff" =)

Anyway, ive got to work today. Having my mock presentation with Grace yesterday eat up my entire afternoon. So got lots of things to settle.

And i am having my new computer today! Yipeey!!! At last, ill finally get rid of this old one. I will never have to restart every so often and curse the damn computer again! hehe!!

This is such a beautiful day!!!!! Love you friends!!! Mwah mwah!!! hehehe!!!!

Warts!!!!

2005-03-09T11:21:00.000+08:00

Today i will finally get rid of my warts! Im kinda scared coz i know it will be painful. But the doctor said its just like an ant bite! Huh! That's what they all say! Well, its for me to find out later.

Till then!

Another Sad and Lonely Saturday

2005-03-06T08:10:00.000+08:00

Arghhhhh!! It's the dreaded weekend once again. And here i am, faced with nothing else but emptiness. When will this end? I have no idea..

Anyway, just like to share what happened this whole week. Monday - ex BF called me up unepectedly. Went over to my office to have coffee. We talked for about 30 or 45 minutes. Nothing fancy. Just talked, like old friends. Fine, that's the real thing now. Anyway, after office, we decided to visit dadi Rico and his wife who had just given birth to their cute little angel Laura Isabelle at the Asian Hospital. She's really an angel. Its very eminent that dadi Rico is so happy and proud to be a dad!

Tueday - cant remember any significant thing to blog. All i know is that i am so busy. Oh its the first day of the month. That's it!

Wednesday - work, work work!!! Im working my aSS!!

Thursday - finished doing my month end report. Reports sucks you know! Arggggghhhhh!!!!!
I hate doing reports..but then again, have no choice. GC might kick me! Im not yet a regular employee, till then, have to obey by the rules hehe!!

Friday - did nothing but to iron my hair in the morning. I attended First Friday Mass at the Shrine with Bianca, the super Marketing Assistant around lunch time. Ate late lunch at KFC. Had ceasar salad and hot shots! yummy! After work, we all attended Grace's bday party at her house. We were all present except for Ron, our GD and Jon (who by the way, attended Christian Bautista's concert! Yep you read it right...since when did Jon became a fan? :-) ) WE had fun (tama ba? ) thats just a guess. hehe!! We went home early around past 10pm. But, Abs, Che, Irish and I decided to end Friday night differently. WE went to "Okavango" a bar in Marikina. They had a band playing. In short, the four of us bonded together. I was just happy about it coz i get to spend a friday night with conservative people. Come to think of it, Mumi Abs, who is married and has two kids went with us. Not to mention that Irish, the ever soft spoken Admin Asst. who at first thought couldnt break a plate, had screwdriver for that night! Whoa! =) Che? The gimick gurl. When she first came in we all thought she's snob. But she's nice. So thats my friday night.

Saturday - visited Friendster. Checked my mails. Assisted client who had to post ads. Imagine, its a saturday and i am still working at home. But anyway, its ok. So now after this blog dont know what to do next. Maybe ill be watching dvds or watch porno movies! hehe!! =) its a joke. Dont have one here. Hmmm...that gives me an idea. Its been quite a while since i last glimpsed on that juicy films. hehe!!! Oh no, this is not good!!!! =)

Have to go now. Still have lots of time to find things to do. Ill probably cook pasta. Im kinda hungry. Ciao!

Think of Me

2005-03-04T11:54:00.000+08:00

Hey just like to share this song from the movie Phantom of the Opera.
So nice...

Music: Andrew Lloyd Webber
Lyrics: Charles HartAdditional
Lyrics: Richard Stillgoe

Think of me, think of me fondly, when we've said goodbye.
Remember me once in a while - please promise me you'll try.
When you find that, once again, you long to take your heart back and be free
If you ever find a moment, spare a thought for me...

We never said our love was evergreen, or as unchanging as the sea -
but if you can still remember, stop and think of me...
Think of all the things we've shared and seen-
don't think about the things which might have been...

Think of me, think of me waking, silent and resigned.
Imagine me, trying too hard to put you from my mind.
Recall those days, look back on all those times,think of the things we'll never do -
there will never be a day, when I won't think of you...

Can it be? Can it be Christine?What a change!
You're really not a bit the gawkish girl that once you were...
She may not remember me, but I remember her...

We never said our love was evergreen, or as unchanging as the sea
but please promise me, that sometimes, you will think of me!

Perfect Saying

2005-03-04T07:50:00.000+08:00

"Everything happens for a purpose, we may not see wisdom of it all now, but trust and believe in the LORD that everything is for the BEST! "

what a day!!!!

2005-03-01T19:02:00.000+08:00

Today is most harassed day!

That's all i can say...

Valentines Day

2005-02-14T16:46:00.000+08:00

Today is Feb. 14, and yes it's The Hearts Day!!! I woke up today feeling down knowing that my honey is not my honey anymore and that i dont have any special someone to spend this day with. But i guess its just mind setting. Each day im learning to accept things as they are now. Slowly, i am accepting the fact that we are no longer together and that it may take a while for a reunitement. That is ok. As long as i still have my family and friends. I know i can move on.

Good thing, im having dinner tonight with my bro's and sis-n-law. It's been a while since we went out and bonded as brothers and sister. Im excited for tonight. I'll be having my favorite tuna sashimi and mouth tempting tempura! Yes!!! =) Naturally after dinner, coffee follows. thanks to starbucks, ill get my coffee for free yipeey!!! For those who have starbucks planner, you know what im talking about.

Bottom line is..Valentines is just an ordinary day for me now. I think i can live with that....

Mommy

2005-02-11T10:43:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, i went home really late. I mean late not because i went to a gimmick or things liek that but because i stayed up late in the office. I was so tired when i reached home i couldn't even ring the doorbell. Good thing the housemate is outside the house so when she saw me she ran at the gate and quickly opened it for me.

As soon as i entered the front door, i saw my mom lying in the couch. She immediately asked me if i have taken dinner, how was work, how am i..etc. etc. Everything the usual mom asks. Rather than ignoring or answering back i kept quiet. I sighed..and then said im ok..I think mom suddenly felt something is wrong. I havent actually told her the news yet. She then asked me to come near her then she gave me a big loving hug..it was quite a while since i last hug her like that. I suddenly felt alone, sad, depressed but then glad that she's there..I was near into crying into her while i embraced her tightly..but i hold back..all the tears, agony and misery i am suffering..i didnt want her to know..

After all, i am so blessed to still have her..when i went into bed..i uttered a simple prayer..
"Lord, keep my family together..Give them long life so that i may still share each and every moment with them..I love them dearly.Dont take them away yet..Keep them away from harm and sickness.Amen"

I know God will grant my prayer..and i know that even if i tried to keep my pain from her..she feels it. She knows it..but i guess she is just waiting for me to open up. I know someday i will find the courage to say everything to her..but until then..ill keep it to myself..

Monday Madness!

2005-02-07T19:53:00.000+08:00

Im on my way to Oodys..Just waiting for friends Tiara and Louie to finish. It's a hell like monday and i think i deserve to unwind. On a Monday! Yes you read it right..winding on Monday night..Oh..How could i resist..Just dont want to go home early. Hehe!!

Oh by the way, I had a coffee meeting with Maya this afternoon. Talked about her accounts. Pretty much ok, not that complicated as i first thought. Anyway, ill be calling Maya every now and then just in case i dont know what to do or need some help. Especially her Impact clients. hehe!! Maya, if you are reading this..dont kill me please! :-)

Got to go, i think they are ready! Till next time! =)

First Saturday at Home

2005-02-05T13:54:00.000+08:00

The first saturday that i stayed at home after my so called boyfriend left me for a reason not so acceptable and valid for me. Nonetheless, its his choice and so be it. So now, here i am alone again..

When i woke up this morning i felt different. The hurt is still there but not as painful as it was. I think i owe it all to my friends who keep me company, who makes me smile and of course my family who has always been there. I actually followed what Tiara told me. To blog in case i feel the urge to call or text him. And so here i am.

Oh, before i forget, i logged on to friendster before this. And i made some testimonials. HAHA! Super kulet! Wala talagang magawa! Anyway im quite happy about it.

Oh im bored typing so i guess i have to watch dvds now. And i still have to finish Stairway to heaven! haha!!! Till next time!

KARMa - Alicia Keys

2005-02-04T15:27:00.000+08:00

Weren't you the one who said that you don't want me anymore
And how you need your space and give the keys back to your door
And how I cried and tried and tried to make you stay with me
And still you said your love was gone and that I had to leave

Now you're Talking bout a family
Now you're saying I complete your dreams
Oh
Now you're sayin I'm your everything
You're confusing me
What you saying to me, don't play wit me, don't play wit meCause....

chorus:
What goes around comes around
What goes up must come down
Now who's cryin', desirin' to come back to me
What goes around comes around
What goes up must come down
Now who's cryin, desirin', to come back

I remember when I was sittin home alone
Waitin for you til 3 o'clock in the 'morn
And when you came home you'd always have some sorry excuse
Half explaining to me like I'm just some kind of a fool
I sacrificed the things
I wanted just to do things for you
But when it's time to do for me
You never come thru

Now you wanna be up under me
Now you have so much to say to me
Now you wanna make time for me
Whatcha doin to me, you're confusin me
Don't play with me don't play with me cause

Repeat chorus 2x
I remember when I was sittin home alone
Waitin for you till 3 o'clock in the 'morn
Night after night knowing something goin on
Wasn't long before I be gone
Lord knows it wasn't easy believe me
Never thought you'd be the one that would deceive me
And never do what you're supposed to do
No need to approach me fool, cuz I'm over you

Repeat chorus

Gotta stop trying to come back to me

Repeat chorus

It's called Karma baby and it goes around

Realization

2005-02-02T14:46:00.000+08:00

It was only last night that i realize the other side of the coin..
thanks to Tiara for opening up my mind.
I am lucky enough to have a choice..
To stay and keep on waiting or move on.
For him..its much difficult.
Things are pretty much complicatedwith him.
Probably also the reason why he decided to leave..

I have to look at the bright side..when the time comes that he has made up his mind
and decides to come back..im not sure if ill still be there.
And thats the thing that he has to be prepared for.

Lucky for me i have friends and family who loves me much.
I have people around me who keeps me going..

I really owe it all to you guys...
for all the support..

Well, this is it..
Time to move on.. =)

SMILE

2005-01-27T17:29:00.000+08:00

With my current agony of losing someone so dear..this song fits me well...

SMILE by: Tamia

Sometimes i sit at home and wonder how it be if he had loved me truely loved me yes,
i learnedAwhile ago that kind of thing it never happens for me,
and so i go around and just pretend loveIs not for me
i play the circus clown around my friends make them laugh and they wont see
that U never let them see u sweat dont want them to think the pain runs deep,
Lord know its killing me

[Chorus:]So i put on my make up put a smile on my face and if anyone ask me everything is ok im Laughing cuz no one knows the joke is on me cuz im dyin inside with my pride and a smile on myFace...on my face singing,
la la la, la la, lalala, la la, la la, la la, la la, la la, la la laLaaaa

Sometimes i sit at home by the phone hopin he might call me but he dont call me but then iRealize dreams come true arent for girls like me not like me, and so i go around with my headUp like it aint no thing and when the boys around with all my friends im into other things cuzU never let them see u sweat dont want them to think the pain runs deep, lord knows its killing Me

[Chorus:]So i put on my make up put a smile on my face and if anyone ask me everything is ok imLaughing cuz no one knows the joke is on me cuz im dyin inside with my pride and a smile on myFace...on my face ooohIts not easy (thing to do) sometimes its hard to (face the truth) its not the life that iWould choose but what else can i do if he dont love me no if he dont want me im not about toSit around let myself go (gooooo)

[Chorus:]So i put on my make up put a smile on my face and if anyone ask me everything is ok imLaughing cuz no one knows the joke is on me cuz im dyin inside with my pride and a smile on myFace...on my face singing,
la la la, la la, lalala, la la, la la, la la, la la, la la, la la laLaaaa ill keep singing la la la la la, lalala, la la, la la, la la, la la, la la, la la laLaaaa ill keep singing la la la, la la, lalala, la la, la la, la la, la la, la la, la la laLaaaa ill keep singing la la la-la la la, lalala, la la, la la, la la, la la, la la, la la laLaaaa

Another SAD Story

2005-01-19T12:33:00.000+08:00

This might happen to you and your girlfriend.So treasure every waking moment knowing that she's still there for you. If you won't do it... who knows....ganito din pala nangyari sa kanya. Sayang you'renot there to fight for her.... After reading this story,tell your girlfriend/boyfriend how much they mean to you and how much you love them. You'll neverknow... this might be the last time.........

Chinie is a typical college girl who enjoys life tothe fullest.
She loves her boyfriend so much and texts him every now and then.
JB is Chinie's boyfriend who works in a call centerin Ortigas.
He's always busy doing so manythings.
He only manages to reply to Chinie's textswhen he gets off from work.
One time JB received a message from Chinie:"hi baby! muzta na po? miss na kta! twag kapgdting u po ng hauz ha! yngatz! lovu!"
JB ignored the message because he alwaysreceives the same message whenever it is time forhim to go home from work.
"baby ko, miss na kta! kmain knb?! yngatz ka popauwi mo ha! antay kong tawag mo. lovu!"
"baby, san ka na po?! daya naman hindi ka nagre-rply. well, basta antay ko na lng call mo! lovu!"
JB reaches home and lays on his bed. The lasttime he knew is that he's reading Chinie's text.He was so tired that he fell asleep and wasn't able toreturn Chinie's call. He could still hear his phonebeep but he was too tired to take a glimpse on themessage.

When he woke up the next day, he remembered thathe needed to call Chinie. He ignored the messagesand dialed Chinie's #. No one's answering in herhouse. He called up her cellphone and he wassurprised that her father answered the call. In hisvoice you can feel his tears and hear his hearttearing apart.

"JB, bakit ngayon ka lang tumawag. Kanina ka pahinihintay ni Chinie!"
"Dad sorry po. Nakatulog ako sa sobrang pagod.Tumatawag ako sa bahay pero walangsumasagot. Asan po kayo para makapunta ako."
"Antayin mo na lang kami sa bahay"JB went to Chinie's house and much to hissurprised he saw a lot of people inside.
The housewere so lighted but you can see the gloom onevery person you'll meet there. He was greeted byChinie's mom on tears. She hug him tightand cried on his shoulders.
"Inaantay ka ni Chinie. Hindi sya sumama sa aminkasi hinihintay nyang tawag mo. Pinatay sya nungmga akyat-bahay na nagnakaw sa amin. Wala nasya JB, wala na"
"Ma, nagtext pa si Chinie sa akin eh. Paanong nangyari yon?!"
JB can't look who's inside the coffin. He can'tmove and it feels like his whole body is stucked onthe chair his seating. He wanted to cry but itseems that something is blocking his tears to falldown. He turn to his phone and read themessages of Chinie.
"baby, antayin ko na lang yung tawag mo. hindi nako sasama kina dad!"
"baby, natatakot ako. parang may tao sa baba ngbahay. please tmwag k n ngyn!"
"baby, andiyan na sila. baka patayin nila ako.please tmwag ka na. baby asan k n? i need youhere now. please baby andyan na sila..."
"baby.... i love you!..."He wanted to shout and cry so loud.

It's true that Chinie is waiting for his call. Up to her last breathshe only thought about him.He stared at Chinie inside the coffin. Suddenlytears started flowing down his cheeks. He couldn't say anything. The only words he uttered...
"My baby, i'm so sorry! I could have known, i couldhave fought for you! i'm really sorry! I love you somuch!"

Kick - Off!

2005-01-02T17:11:00.000+08:00

Thursday, December 30. My friend Steyp called me up invited me to go out and have a one last barkada get together. I decided to go. After getting there, it was surprising that two more friends came.

Actually im sick. I cant even breathe because of the colds..my sorethroat is getting worse. But then i still tasted beer. EEEIIIWWW...it still doesnt taste good but carry on.. After it was done, i had a total of 6 bottles. WheW! I cant even finish one full bottle on ordinary days. Maybe it was a blessing that i was sick. Lesson for me..drink while im sick! haha!

By the way, we were at Off the Grill Timog. Remember Lilet the singer who popularized one of Coca Cola's song? She now calls herself Marielle. She was there. She's the performer for the night. She is awesome! Sweet yet powerful voice and the face! Man! How could you forget such an adoring beauty. Nakaka tibo! hehe!

We went home around 3 in the morning. One thing im certain..when you are with real friends..you forget everything especially the time. you just seem to go on talking while occasionally sipping beer, puffing, laughing out loud, and reminiscing the past..

It was indeed a kick off..a blast from the past! Happy new year!!

How Did You Know?

2004-12-30T13:43:00.000+08:00

"How did you know..

I needed someone like you in my life..

That there's an empty space in my heart..

You came at the right time in my life..."

Who in this world would not have known this song originally done by Gary Valenciano. As I sing this part in my mind, it came across to me..How will you know if you have already met the one? Are you pretty sure that the one you are with today is someone intended for you? Or how about cases where people meet and then falls in love instatly and decides to tie the knot in a span of couple of months? How sure are you that what you are feeling is genuine? These are some of the questions that run in my mind as i remember my friend's love story.

We were barkadas since highschool. From an exclusive all girls school run by nuns, it is but expected that you act prim and proper. I remember we tease each other and made a prediction on who will walk down the aisle first. Aimee, Ria, Kathleen, Tin, ICE (that's me!) and Chato. We call our group ARKTIC based from the initials of our names. The wedding bells will start and end in this order: (1)Chato, (2)Tin, (3)ICE, (4)Ria, (5)Kat, and (6)Aimee.

After highschool we went on college. In spite of us attending different universities and colleges we remain friends and maintain constant communication. We still go out and celebrate each other's birthdays and occasional gimmicks. Graduation came. I was the first one who got a job while the rest are still finishing their 5th year. Chato, instead of working decided to study again as a caregiver which eventually landed her a very rewarding job in Canada. She flew there almost a year and a half ago. Now she's back.

She's here for a visit and for the holidays of course. She had a long distance relationship with her now ex-bf. They were supposed to get married but the a-hole had long been seeing someone even before my friend went home for visit. So she decided to call it quits. After two weeks of pain and everynight of sheding tears, she met someone. Instantly they bonded. Shared things with each other as if they knew each other quite well. After a few weeks he proposed. She now wears a princess cut diamond engagement ring. All that in the span of less than a month. Don't ask me questions..i have also been asking the same questions over and over..

But then i realized, what the heck! They are old enough to make their own decisions. They are mature individuals who knows exactly what they want. As for me, as long as my friend is happy im also happy for her. After all, i have only seen her as radiant as she is now. The glow is different, very much distinct. The smile that stretches and never seems to end, her eyes so full of life. She is spectacular..Lovely indeed.

I guess there are no rules when in comes to love. When it strikes and hit you, you have no choice but to follow what your heart desires. No Rules no bounderies. Only hearts speak and when it does, you obey even without understanding the reasons why. You just follow.

Truly, love is unexpected, immeasureable, limitless and undefined. It is simply magic...

As for our predictions, well it came true. Chato will take her wedding vows next year. A few years after that, i think, if the prediction is still right..i'll be the next bride. =)

zzzz.....

2004-12-29T14:30:00.000+08:00

I have nothing to write today except for..
I AM BORED...I DON'T WANT TO WORK TODAY...
but i have no choice...

So here i am infront of my so called PC..
trying hard to look busy..
Everyone else is feeling the same..we are all bored..
Everyone wants to go home.

I miss my bed and
my new comfy pillows that my bro gave me
as christmas present..

I am so bored i just wanna go out and
enjoy a cup of nicely rich aroma of
my favorite latte while my mind wanders away from reality..

I am bored..
So so bored...
I'll have my coffee break..

Hey Maya wanna come? =)

A touching story

2004-12-22T15:22:00.000+08:00

Just want to share a very touching story that will surely make you cry...

Each year he sent her roses, and the note would always say, "I love you even more this year.than last year on this day.My love for you will always grow,with every passing year."She knew this was the last time that the roses would appear.She thought, he ordered roses in advance before this day.Her loving husband did not know, that he would pass away.He always liked to do things early, way before the time.Then, if he got too busy, everything would work out fine.She trimmed the stems and placed them in a very special vase. Then, sat the vase beside the portrait of his smiling face. She would sit for hours, In her husband's favorite chair.While staring at his picture, and the roses sitting there.A year went by, and it was to live without her mate.With loneliness and solitude, that had become her fate.Then, the very hour,as on Valentines before,The doorbell rang, and there were roses sitting by her door. She brought the roses in, and then just looked at them in shock. Then, went to get the telephone, to call the florist shop.The owner answered, and she asked him, if he would explain, Why would someone do this to her,causing her such pain?"I know your husband passed away, more than a year ago," The owner said, "I knew you'd call,and you would want to know.The flowers you received today, were paid for in advance.Your husband always planned ahead,he left nothing to chance.There is a standing order,that I have on file down here, And he has paid, well in advance, you'll get them every year.There also is another thing, that I think you should know, He wrote a special little card... he did this years ago.Then, should ever I find out that he's no longer here,that's the card that should be sentto you the following year."She thanked him and hung up the phone,Her tears now flowing hard.Her fingers shaking, as she slowly reached to get the card.Inside the card, she saw that he had written her a note.Then, as she stared in total silence, this is what he wrote..."Hello my love, I know it's been a year since I've been gone. I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to overcome. I know it must be lonely, and the pain is very real.Or if it was the other way, I know how I would feel. The love we shared made everything so beautiful in life.I loved you more than words can say, you were the perfect wife.You were my friend and lover, you fulfilled my every need. I know it's only been a year,but please try not to grieve. I want you to be happy, even when you shed your tears. That is why the roses will be sent to you for years.When you get these roses, think of all the happiness, That we had together, and how both of us were blessed. I have always loved you and I know I always will. But, my love, you must go on, you have some living still.Please...try to find happiness, while living out your days. I know it is not easy, but I hope you find some ways.The roses will come every year, and they will only stop, when your door's not answered,when the florist stops to knock. He will come five times that day, in case you have gone out. But after his last visit, he will know without a doubt To take the roses to the place, where I've instructed him. and place the roses where we are, together once again.

Xmas Rush

2004-12-22T11:14:00.000+08:00

Its three days before Christmas and im still not done with my shopping. Im here at work worrying about the gifts im suppossed to buy and not minding work. Anyway, all of my clients are either on leave already or just simply not in the mood to do business coz its xmas. Everyone should be relaxing and not working right? =)

Last night, i was very surprised to see that my mom already bought gifts for me. You see, in this new company, everyone gives everybody something for xmas. Though i am new, i can always get away with the fact that "oh im sorry, i didn't know..i'll give gifts next year." but then, what the heck, giving is the true spirit of xmas right? So i asked my mom to do the shopping for me. I eagerly wrap all the gifts. Before i knew it, it's past ten already. And im not even done yet. Worst, i haven't had dinner. Oh well, im in diet anyway..Though i dont see any changes.. =) I really have to do back to the gym...but that's another story..

So now, back to reality..Most of my colleagues are on leave. My team leader Dadi Rico is not going to work today. He called up early this morning because he has a terible toothache. It's because of those braces that had been there for centuries! hehe! My Mama Rosa is going to spend a visit to her in-laws. Actually she's here with her cute little baby girl who looks more of her hubby than her. Ate Shens is on leave..its her birthday. No explanations needed. Baby Maya, dont know where she is. Client call i think. Sipag grabe...Who else is nsot here..hhmmm...

It's almost lunch time. I can't wait to go out and shop. Im in shopping mood already!! Yipeey!!!.

Tomorrow we will be having our Christmas party at CalloSpa in Antipolo. Im thinking of rewarding myself to an exhilirating treat of one hour spa and full body massage. After all these xmas shopping i think i need a gift too. =)

what people dont know about my name

2004-12-20T14:13:00.000+08:00

Many people dont know that i have many names..

When i was born, i was supposed to be named after a great author, Agatha Cristie. But my mom did not agree. My dad thought of another name. Bernadette..still my mom did not agree. So my dad thought to name me after her bestfriend's sister...Claudette. My dad said it was final. But my mom said she asked me through Mama Mary because she wanted to have a baby girl after two boys. So they add Mary to Claudette. And so the cute bubbly little girl was christened Mary Claudette Maclang Mallillin.

When i was growing up, family and friends call me Melody. Far from my idea that my real name is Claudette, i have never asked the reason why. Until the day i went to school. On my first day, my teacher asked my name. I eagerly answered her with a big smile and said "My name is Melody Mallillin". The teacher look it up in her list and found no name as such was registered. They thought i belonged to the other class. My teacher accompanied me to the adjacent classroom. Again i was not in the list. My teacher looked again in her list and found that there is a student with a surname of Mallillin but it is not Melody. It was indeed Mary Claudette. It was only then that i get to know my real name...

Melody was given to me as a nickname by my dad. Yes he is the culprit. He said when i was still a baby, i would often cry out loud. But for him, my cries is like a melody to his ears. Corny i know but then it was when he started calling me Melody.

When i was a gradeschooler, my friends and classmates find it difficult to call me Claudette. Then Kudet was born. Instead of calling me Claudette, they call me Kudet..as in Kudet the boldstar! hehe!

When i started using the icom,i was in grade 5, i used ICE as my call sign. It was also the time when Vanilla Ice's Ice Ice Baby was hitting the charts. It was also a factor why i chose the name Ice. Vanilla Ice is my all time big crush! From then on, i wasn known as ICE...

Until i reached and graduated college, friends, barkadas, classmates, acquaintance, call me ICE. I remember when i celebrated my 18th birthday, most of my gifts are labelled ICE, some are Claudette, few are Melody. Most of the people are wandering why some pals who are in the 18 gifts and 18 wishes call me through different names...I pity them..they attended a party with so many aliases..hehe!!

But thats not all..when i started working in my first company. I have acquired the name Claude. Again, they find Claudette too long. So from then till now..i use Claude. =)

Thats the story of my name..crazy but then again..its all me. =)

First Time

2004-12-17T14:18:00.000+08:00

Today is my first time...thank's to my ever reliable officemates Maya who introduced me to "Blog" and to Shien's, who's also celebrating her birthday this coming 22nd..for defining the difference between "username" and "display name." =)

Today is the first time...that i kept on snoozing my alarm in the past one month and a half of going to work. Today i felt like i don't want to get up and go to work..Today i feel terribly bored.

Today is the first time...that i lit another stick of winston lights c/o Tiara..after 3 weeks of not smoking...

Today is the first time..that i finally gave up of calling to clients asking them about their feedback about the packages that i sent them...

Today is the first time...that i am looking forward again to another good night of music, liquor and fun...after how many months of waiting for this to happen...

Though i may be feeling these things for the first time...again...i know i will always go back to same old me,..

Crazy old me.. =)